We must not allow past events to dictate our lives. Just because we have consistently exhibited the same type of behavior in the past doesn’t mean we cannot change it.
What we need to understand is that over the years, we have developed automatic means to defend ourselves against what we perceive as emotional threats. Naturally, these defense mechanisms were acquired when we were often very young, hence inexperienced and less mature. We often copied our reactions from our parents, who were the only models we had at that time. Once these defense reactions were accepted and honed, they became an integral part of our lives, manifesting automatically whenever a situation reminded us of the old aggressor. From that point on, the individual no longer questions the quality of their behavior; it is entirely normal for them to react in that way, and they call it their nature. “I am made this way for better or for worse.”
Today, it is essential to realize that several of our defense mechanisms may no longer be suitable or the best for us. Being more experienced, knowing more, and having attained greater maturity, it is highly possible that in a situation that would have provoked a violent reaction from you when you were younger, you now have a different and more controlled response.
Therefore, you need to learn to recognize your inappropriate reactions and change your emotional habits. Do not let your past behavior guide your life. You have the opportunity to change and adapt your behavior to your new personality.
The most beautiful consolation that life’s difficulties can offer us is that they enable us to become better men and women. It is the most beautiful and the only consolation. So, do not let it pass by. Just because you miss an event in your life does not mean your entire life should be considered a failure. On the contrary, failure should allow a human being to become better. You are a better person today thanks to the lessons I have drawn from unfortunate experiences.
The past should be used to improve the present, not to paralyze it.
Maurice Larocque, “Be thin master your emotionsl.”